Thoughts Along the Walk.....

2010 and fairy tales

2010-01-04T06:05:00.002-09:00

When i was growing up I wasn't very interested in reading. I wasn't interested in it at all until my "adult years"..whatever that means. After seeing the motion picture "The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe"..and being a big fan of C.S. Lewis..i decided it would be nice to read all the Chronicles of Narnia. Although intended for a young reader...they have much to offer us "grown ups"..whatever that means. The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe was the second book in the chronicles (although written first). I enjoyed The Magicians Nephew which is the first book...it gave me great insight to the books to follow. But there is something magical about the Lion the which and the wardrobe. When i first opened it i read the dedication that C.S. Lewis wrote to his Goddaughter and it brought me to tears...he wrote:

My Dear Lucy,
I wrote this story for you, but when i began it I had not realized that girls grow faster than books. As a result you are already too old for fairy tales, and by the time it is printed and bound you will be older still. But some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. You can then take it down from some upper shelf, dust it, and tell me what you think of it. I shall probably be too deaf to hear, and too old to understand a work you say, but i shall still be your affectionate Godfather,
C.S. Lewis

It wasn't so much what he wrote that tugged my heart...but more of the truth in one sentence. "But some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again...". I found much truth in this sentence last night at midnight..28 yrs old bundled up in bed next to my husband..content with my reading light on and my Narnia book in hand.

New Year...New decade..More life! Happy 2010!

Old enough for fairy tales,
JM

Times

2009-10-01T04:49:00.004-08:00

Two of my favorite verses are..
Romans 8:38-39 "And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord".

Ephesians 3: 18-19 "And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God".

They are my favorite for so many reasons..i love them so much we used them in our wedding. And they are not your typical wedding verses. I have been listening to this song by Tenth Avenue North called "Times" and the words are so simple..but they remind me of everything these verses mean. It's so beautiful to me that God is so detailed. He gave us so many examples. He didn't just say.."you should know how deep My love is". He didn't say "nothing at all can separate us from Him" the end. He doesn't give us a chance to say our "maybe this can" or "what if". He made Himself quite clear...and I'm happy He did.

Check it out....

Times...
I know I need You I need to love You I love to see You, but it's been so long. I long to feel You I feel this need for You. And I need to hear You, is that so wrong?

Now You pull me near You. When we're close, I fear You. Still I'm afraid to tell You, all that I've done. Are You done forgiving? Oh can You look past my pretending? Lord, I'm so tired of defending, what I've become..What have I become?

I hear You say, "My love is over. It's underneath.It's inside. It's in between. The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel. The times that you question, 'Is this for real?' The times you're broken.The times that you mend. The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.

Well, My love is over, it's underneath. It's inside, it's in between.

These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks. The times that you feel like you're falling from grace. The times you're hurting. The times that you heal. The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal. The times of confusion, in chaos and pain. I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame. I'm there through your heartache. I'm there in the storm. My love I will keep you, by My power alone.

I don't care where you fall, where you have been. I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends."

Here is a link to here a little preview of the song...or you can download it for a buck!
http://www.tenthavenuenorth.com/buy

My need for You

2009-08-06T04:38:00.002-08:00

You are my only Escape. Escape from me...from this world. I bury my face in You...Your grasp contains me. Hold me tight..Your embrace calms my fears..You ease my worries. I cry out to You my God..a faint do not be afraid is what i hear. But the sounds of this earth are draining..they have built a barrier. I have my eye on You..Your Presence walks the earth. But my fears run. They are faster than the wind. We meet there at the vast ocean of my giant..he is nothing to you but defeated. My eyes are deceived..I must see through Yours instead. Your Word is Truth...lies are my weakness. Your Word is Life. Fill my mind..take the lies..Flood all the emptiness with You. Forgive me for my worry and faithlessness...for being consumed with doubt and fear..I know it is not of You or from You. You continue to reach for me. Time and time again You remind me. I choose your narrow path of Truth and Life..i choose Your Way. I love and thank you...my Holy Escape..my Eternal Friend..Forgiving Father.

Upon the earth who's Your equal

2009-07-23T03:26:00.003-08:00

During worship practice last night we sang some powerful songs. Through the lyrics I was reminded of how BIG God is. There is no one like Him. Not one person on earth can be as Big as Him...no matter how hard we try. It's always a thought in my mind...but sometimes I make Him small. And He is anything but small. So...i am praying this week that everyone who hears the worship songs on Sunday and reads the words on the screen will be reminded of how BIG God is. Always...He is always BIG...and UNCHANGING. Consistent. Faithful. REAL. HOLY. Approachable. Trust worthy. He is I AM. What a GREAT BIG God we have and how Mighty is the Power of the Cross. I pray that those words would pierce the hearts of many and help them to fall facedown is His presence and in the Light of His Love. I pray that they would feel Your presence as close as the air we breathe. As close as our own skin. Thank you for your Holy presence...and what do we know of Holy but You.

Here are a few of the lyrics that touch me...no matter how many times i hear and sing them..

(parts of Facedown by Matt Redman)
Welcomed in to the courts of the King
I've been ushered in to Your presence
Lord I stand on Your merciful ground
Yet with every step tread with revernce
And I'll fall face-down...as Your Glory shines around
Who is there in the heavens like You
and upon the earthe who's Your equal
You are dar above You're the highest of heights
We are bowing down to exalt You

(parts of Mighty Is the Power of the Cross by Chris Tomlin)
What can fill the emptimess
What can mend our brokenness
What restores our Faith in God
What reveals the Father's love
What can lead the wayward home
What can melt a heart of stone
What can free the guilty ones
Mighty Awesome Wonderful is the Holy Cross
Where the Lamb laid down His life to lift us from the fall

Thank you for saving me.

So many Psalms..so many translations!!!

2009-07-08T03:01:00.003-08:00

"Lord, my heart is not proud; my eyes are not haughty. I don’t concern myself with matters too great or too awesome for me to grasp. Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself, like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother’s milk. Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, put your hope in the Lord—now and always."
Psalm 131 NLT

"I am not conceited, LORD, and I don't waste my time on impossible schemes. But I have learned to feel safe and satisfied, just like a young child on its mother's lap. "
Psalm 131 CEV

"God, I'm not trying to rule the roost, I don't want to be king of the mountain. I haven't meddled where I have no business or fantasized grandiose plans. I've kept my feet on the ground, I've cultivated a quiet heart. Like a baby content in its mother's arms, my soul is a baby content. Wait, Israel, for God. Wait with hope. Hope now; hope always!"
Psalm 131 Message

God help me not criticize...my heart is not proud but humbled by Your mercy and grace. Your presence keeps me grounded. I do not want haughty eyes...break my heart for what breaks Yours. Desire and passion for You is built in me..You are part of each heart beat. Your teachings are new everyday...like a child I am content...my heart is humbled and quiet before You.

Very clear

2009-06-15T03:51:00.002-08:00

"Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don't make a performance out of it. It might be good theater, but the God who made you won't be applauding. "When you do something for someone else, don't call attention to yourself."

"But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

"But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

Father..my Perfect Example..help me to give and pray as you have taught. Not to seek the praise of men. Thank you for your peace..I wont keep it to myself. My desire is to react like you in ALL I do.

Blogless...

2009-06-02T04:23:00.002-08:00

I have not blogged in days...

Its not that i don't have anything to say, I do. Its not like i don't have joy to speak of, I do. I have just been blogless.

Here are a few thoughts and prayers of my heart this week...

Lord...anything my heart is lacking flood every chamber with all You are. Let my words speak life. Let my judgements be few. Fuel me with Your authenticity and correct me all my days. Thank You for loving me when the world does not and thank You for teaching me to love unconditionally.

To God be the Glory
JM

Spring Happy

2009-04-30T03:52:00.002-08:00

It always amazes me how nature knows spring is coming. First you see a few trees sprout..then it rains a few times...and out of no where everything is alive. Its astounding. God is amazing. He "taught" nature what to do and in return nature reflects just a glimpse of His beauty...just a taste of His majesty. If you look and listen closely they praise Him. The birds sing of His goodness and the trees sing of His glory. The sky declares His praise. I know that this happens for each season...and there isn't a time where nature doesn't speak of God's greatness...but in the spring and summer is when i notice it the most. It brings me a different kind of happiness...a level that is dormant during the other seasons. I don't know if its natural or if its just me but spring makes me happy. It must have been spring when some of the psalms were written...it must of been a beautiful crystal clear day when they heard nature speak.

Psalm 19: 1-4
"The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship. Day after day they continue to speak; night after night they make him known. They speak without a sound or word; heir voice is never heard. Yet their message has gone throughout the earth, and their words to all the world."

Psalm 96: 11-13
"Let the heavens be glad, and the earth rejoice! Let the sea and everything in it shout his praise!Let the fields and their crops burst out with joy! Let the trees of the forest rustle with praise before the Lord, for he is coming!"

More than a story...

2009-04-07T03:30:00.002-08:00

One of the first songs I heard when i really learned about Christ was by Avalon called "Everything to me". This was during a turning point in my life where i made a choice. The choice was to give into a feeling I felt for a long time. It was time.

It was 1999 and I was already "part" of church and involved in ministry but i didn't truly understand why. I attended church and was a "good" person and convinced myself that was enough. My heart knew there was more but I was selfish and liked it that way. That year God took my heart and gently shook it...i heard his loving voice speak "it's time" and that was all it took. I willingly gave Him my WHOLE heart...cause He already had bits and pieces of it..and I choose to follow Him. I remember as a little girl loving Jesus and not even knowing why...my family was catholic and i couldn't understand at 10 yrs old why I loved this Man..the Man from the Story. But i loved Him so much. And even as a child i recognized that it was real love...like i had for my mom and dad...but i didn't understand it.

Many people have drastic conversions where they turn their back on drugs and alcohol...sex...and lies. Mine was pretty subtle...i was not in a very bad place. But i was NOT where God wanted me and that was all i needed to know.

This all came to my mind today as i was doing some reading..preparing my heart for the days a head...where we remember the unbearable price God paid...and the unbelievable Gift He gave us 3 days later. As I read it reminded me that this is More than a Story...and i want to share that with the world. It brought back the memory of the first song..the song that stopped me...literally..in my tracks and in that moment i knew...i could no longer deny the "STORY" and Jesus was so real to me and has been ever since.

I want to post the lyrics of this simple song...the song that made my heart acknowledge Him...which brought Him to tug on my heart and reveal so much to my blind eyes...which made me happily surrender.

Verse 1:
I grew up in Sunday School, I memorized the Golden Rule and how Jesus came to set the sinner free. I know the story inside out and I can tell you all about the path that led Him up to Calvary.
But ask my why He loves me and I don’t know what to say. But I’ll never be the same because He changed my life when He became.

chorus:
Everything to me He’s more than a story More than words on a page of history. He’s the air that I breathe, The water I thirst for and the ground beneath my feet He’s everything, everything to me.

Verse 2
We’re living in uncertain times and more and more I find that I’m aware of just how fragile life can be. I want to tell the world I found A love that turned my life around.. they need to know that they can taste and see.
Now every day I’m praying just to give my heart away. I want to live for Jesus so that someone else might see that He is...

chorus:
Everything to me He’s more than a story more than words on a page of history. He’s the air that I breathe the water I thirst for and the ground beneath my feet. He’s everything...everything to me.

Bridge:
And looking back over my life at the end I’ll go to meet you, saying you’ve been everything to me more than a story more than words on a page of history....

Lord, you ARE everything to me...thank you for all You have done for me.

JM

Disappointed....

2009-04-01T04:34:00.002-08:00

"Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly. Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way."

I was reading last night and I had to read this verse about 7 times. God amazes me for putting everything we need in one Book. People disappoint people...even leaders/teachers disappoint people. But God does not. He IS consistent ALWAYS. And I thank Him for that. I pray for Him to make me consistent and help me be pure. I pray for consistency in my speech and in my life. I pray that my speech does not pollute my character and my witness. Let my speech be a reflection of my heart for Christ.

I was reminded again last night that i am not the one to judge. Although it comes natural to be critical...it is not my job. I was disappointed.. but as always God found His way in and helped me to refocus. He restores my thought process...its remarkable.

Satisfied in Him..

JM

To be like You

2009-03-24T06:08:00.005-08:00

"You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had" Philippians 2:5

MY goal. MY challenge. This is what i want.

I also like the King James which states...

"Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus" Philippians 2:5

This mind? What mind...God's mind? God's attitude? Imagine how different this earth would be if we all had the attitude of GOD Himself.....

"Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others too."

"Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross."

How important it is to God for us to have the mind of Christ. And even more important to be an example to others...to Shine...to be Light...among the dark. How could we be an example of Love...such pure real merciful love...which Jesus displayed to us. How important this must be to Him. How happy it must make Him when we listen (apply) to the many times He instructed us to love..not to judge or criticize...simply to love.

"Don’t speak evil against each other, dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize and judge each other, then you are criticizing and judging God’s law. But your job is to obey the law, not to judge whether it applies to you. God alone, who gave the law, is the Judge. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to judge your neighbor?"

“But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back. Do to others as you would like them to do to you.

“If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much! And if you lend money only to those who can repay you, why should you get credit? Even sinners will lend to other sinners for a full return.

“Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked. You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate. "

“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”

There are not many things that make me "mad"..passionate yes but not angry. I am passionate about being judged and being judgemental. It is one characteristic i do not admire and one that i strive not to display. Jesus said "You judge me by human standards, but I do not judge anyone". Anyone!!

So i don't really have a purpose to this post. I was just thinking and reading about loving others...and how we are taught by society and family to judge others. And if no one taught us anything...if society did not play its part and we were not taught anything by our parents...what would come natural??

Yearning and learning to be like You Lord....

"Who said"?

2009-03-12T08:12:00.002-08:00

This story might seem silly to post...but i wanted to write it down like you would a strange dream so i wont forget it. I dont know why.

I was leaving work yesterday and through the double glass doors at the exit of my building I could see a homeless man holding up a quarter and asking the people passing for spare change. Although i would like to do more for the homeless...like bring them home...let them shower give them clothes...help them get a job...and tell them about God, I sadly settle for giving what "extra" money i have in my pocket when i can. And not for self gratification...although it does feel good...but for the chance to give them more than what they are aking for...maybe the chance to give them joy. So as i watched him ask each person i put my hand in my pocket for the two singles i knew i had there. I passed through the double doors waiting for his voice.."miss do you..."but nothing, he did not ask me. I kept walking a bit slower towards the parking lot secretly hoping he would notice he missed someone...but still nothing. So i walked to my car and heard him ask someone "sir do you have extra change"...the man answered "sir...don't call me sir when you don't know me"...my heart broke into pieces. I put my things in my car and grabbed only the two singles from my wallet. I closed my door and proceeded to walk back into my building. As i approached the doors i realized the "sir guy" had not given him any money at all but instead gave him a cigarette and the homeless man was now sitting against the wall smoking. I made a glance towards the "sir guy" and noticed he was talking with what i assume was his co-worker in their freshly pressed suits. They both were smoking as well with big smiles and expensive brief cases. I waited for him to ask me...but instead he mumbled "hi" (maybe tired of all the no's) and he looked at me with a strange glare. I took the two dollars out of my pocket and handed it to him. His response was confusing. His big blue eyes widened at the dollars he saw...and he didn't look at me. He took it slowly and said "For who" ..."for you" i responded with a smile. Then he looked up at me with the same strange look that i noticed leaving the first time...and he spoke "who said"...now not thinking i blurted out "I did". I walked through the doors again pretending i forgot something inside without giving him the chance to say thank you or anything else for that matter. I walked through the lobby...waited for a minute and then turned around to go through the double glass doors again. He was still there and i glanced quickly as i walked away..."goodbye" he stated.

Now why did this random conversation repeat in my mind the whole way home...i kept seeing his eyes...and the way he looked when he spoke "who said". The more and more i thought of his life...i could not hold back my tears. I though about the "sir" who passed him so easily with no tug to the heart. I wondered how many times a day that must happen. I don't know this man nor why he was homeless or how he became homeless. But I continued to weep for him. And then i stopped and i thought of a much better response than the one i had given. "Who said"...this man gave me a perfect opportunity to tell him something...anything that could help him more than money..more than food or shelter. He gave me an open door to respond to his "who said" by saying "God said" GOD tells me in His word to help...help you because He loves you and He can help you too. I failed..my opportunity had passed and here i was almost home.

This haunted me for most of the afternoon...as i thought about how much more i could have helped him. More than two stinky dollars. I almost felt like it was a test...which was silly...but at one point his eyes looked like he knew what he was asking...like he knew what he wanted to hear. Which is also very silly. But this brief encounter touched my heart...i felt God close...closer than usual yesterday afternoon. Close like after 3 hours of a worship service. I know it was definately not because of the money i gave him...but maybe for a different reason. And not to bring me glory or praise but because my desire was to bring Him the Glory.

And i hope to see my blue eyed friend again today and try once more.

JM

Routine...Longing

2009-03-11T04:01:00.003-08:00

I seem to have two things on my mind this week...among many other things. One is routine...I'm am trying to get back into my "routine" after a week away that seems harder than i thought. But i also don't want to have a "routine" where life is so expected and usual. Wake up...drop Abe off at the train...go to work..work...eat...drive home..pick up Abe from train...go to gym...go home..cook dinner...laundry...dishes...read bible...pray with husband..sleep...wake...start over. Ugh! And then i realize...its everyone. I know its not just me that has these routines. Especially with children i could imagine...but is that the way it should be? There are many things that i look forward to during my weekly routing...Monday night bible study...Wednesday night worship practice...Friday night FNL...Saturday date night...Sunday church, worship, fellowship! Those are the things that i love being routine and i wouldnt want them to change. Those are the activities I missed during vacation. I think i am more aware of my routine after a week away with no agenda...I'm sure in a few weeks it will just be normal again. But is it?

Which brings me to the second thing on my mind this week...longing. Lately i have felt a longing for something and i don't know what it is. Its not a void necessarily but i cant seem to figure it out. I know i am filled and fulfilled by God and I could not live without His presence in my life. He already filled a large whole in my heart a long time ago. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and fills my life with joy. I am happier than i have ever been at church and with my church family and i know that God is using me there. And i also know that He has big plans for Abe and I in the future...His future. I have a mother and father who love and support me..a niece I adore with all my heart. I have a good secure job...which is definitely not what i would have choose for my life. But seemed to fall into place whether is was my fault or not...but i am grateful to be working and to be in a secure job. But is it that? Is there somewhere else i should be spending 8 hours of my day Monday through Friday...should i be in school...am i wasting my time...my life? These are the things i have been pondering this week. So i will pray and seek my Father in heaven for guidance..for peace..and as always He will not let me down.

Is longing natural? Can you still feel it all the major things in your life are taken care of (what we consider major) and things are where they should be? Will it always exist? Is it possible to be filled to the brim in life with everything your heart desires...even the things you cant put your finger on?

I have longings that i am aware of...longings to show people Christ and His love...longing to bring my family to church and for them to want to be there (two different things)...longing to be all that God wants me to be...longing to be the wife he created me to be...the friend i should be...eventually the mother He instructs me to be...and above all I long to be an example.. His example.. with His character shining through me...His follower but one that draws people to Him and does not turn them away. Those longings i am conscious of...but then there is something i am missing and i don't know what it is. Could they all be linked? Are they all the same thing? Just some thoughts i guess...which for some odd reason always feel better when you write (type) them down.

Longing for the right routine...

JM

Vacation!!

2009-02-21T18:25:00.002-09:00

Well i am happy to say it is 10:30pm on Saturday night and i am excited! I guess it just took a little time to sink in and now that I'm done packing (or should i say over packing) i am looking forward to our trip! I still have the plane on my mind...but thanks to a lot of comfort from my caring friends...I'm less nervous!

Mexican sun here i come! With sunscreen of course!

JM

Vacation!?!?

2009-02-19T03:34:00.002-09:00

I am going on a trip with my husband this Sunday. We are taking a vacation or as other countries call it a "holiday"...which on a random side note i think is much more fun than "vacation"! We decided for our one year anniversary to go back to the resort in Mexico where we had our honeymoon around this time last year. All in all i am looking forward to this trip...the warm sun..the food..quality time with Abe WITHOUT my arch enemy...my rival the XBOX!! I truly believe that the man who created video games did not intend for them to turn into what they have become; brain mushing machines that not only have the ability of eating your brain cells...their other super power is blocking out the voice of the wives talking to the man holding the controller. When i try talking to Abe as he is playing xbox..i get more of a response from our dogs! But that's a whole other blog!

So anyway...i am looking forward to going on Sunday..BUT I'm not really excited like i thought i would be. Maybe because i know we really cant afford it right now...but we are going anyway. Maybe because I'm terrified of flying and when we land i will be excited. Maybe because i am not ready to put on a bathing suit. Whatever the case may be...i was hoping to feel that "child-like" excitement like i remember getting as a child before a family vacation. Or the feeling that i am happy to admit i still get on Christmas eve! But so far for this trip I am lacking that feeling. I was trying to remember last year before our wedding day if I was excited for our honeymoon...and all i can remember are silly fears i had and worrying the whole week before. Has all my worry caused my brain to disconnect the "excitement nerve"?

As "adults" (whatever that means)...i think we loose so much of what we had as a child...excitment..imagination...dreams...faith. I still have faith for sure...but its always followed by a "what if". And i remember worrying as a child, but there certainly where not this many what ifs. I am SICK of "WHAT IF".

I have learned a lot about myself "growing up" and i realize that i am quite sensitive when it comes to the troubles of this world. I am not able to watch the news or read a newspaper like most can...because i do not have the ability to leave those stories on the paper or to forget about them when i shut off the television. They stay with me...everyone of them. I'm not sure if its ignorant for me to not know what's going on in the world. I don't know if its safe to shelter myself from the truth. But i do know that reading my bible instead of watching the news is my first choice. Reading a positive book instead of the newspaper is my second choice. And not watching R rated movies like I'm 10 yrs old is my third choice.

It seems that i rambled off the "vacation" topic...but i wonder if it is all the same issue. All i am sure of is God's love..and i know and believe with all my heart that "high above the sky or in the deepest ocean- nothing will ever be able to separate us from the love of God" Romans 8:39. And that is the Rock i stand on. My Rock Jesus..He is my excitement...He is my imagination...He is my dream...He is my Faith. And like a child i will look to God....my Father who will not leave me or forsake me..who is Perfect. And i know He will help me reconnect my "excitement nerve" and disconnect the "what ifs".

Mexican sun here i come...

JM

God's Full-Time Job

2009-02-17T04:16:00.001-09:00

I was reading one of my devotionals today and this was the scripture...

"The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want." Psalm 23:1

The bible tells us we are like sheep. When i think of sheep..i think of fearful, defenseless creatures. Which would also describe me at times..always searching for security and requiring a lot of care. I think its amazing that God choose such a perfect analogy to describe His "role". As our Shepherd He leads us...tends to us...and protects us. On our own we are helpless against the power of sin and death..but with our Great God we can overcome sin and He saved us from death by sending His only son to die for us! O what a Shepherd He is! Without His guidance we cling to any form of information and entertainment that we believe will provide us with comfort and offer us love. But only He is our true comfort and only He can truly Love us.

This also brings to mind the challenge it is for our Pastor's. They too are our Shepherd's...called by God to lead us and guide us here on earth. What a challenge that could be...but I thank God for them...and i know that they are truly seeking God first. But we also must keep in mind that just as much as our Pastor shepherds pray for us...his flock should be praying for him. He himself is human and we need to remember that. He has trials...he has struggles..he has fears. It is not fair to rely on him for spiritual guidance and not pray for him in return.

I am so grateful to God for His full-time job...where He never takes a sick day nor a lunch break..there are no vacations or voicemails. And i am grateful for our Pastors...who also have very important full-time jobs!

Thanking God for our Good Shepherd...Jesus!

JM

Worry...

2009-02-12T06:45:00.003-09:00

I am a worrier. I know where i learned it..and i have tried to unlearn it..but at times it wins. My father and his family are BIG worriers. What didn't help was my dad becoming a paramedic...its a great job, but increased his worrying capacity! When i was 7 he taught me how to give myself an injection..and showed me where the gas mask was..just in case we were ever under attack. So it's safe to say i learned of "worry" at a young age. This past week it seems to have taken over my mind...and at times it becomes stronger that the scriptures i have hidden in my heart. God's Word tells me not to worry...more than once..and in many ways. And i know that i shouldn't...but it finds an opening in my mind..and slowly creeps back in.

So why has it consumed me this week..my dad has Lyme disease and he happen to have a HORRIBLE case of it. For the first year they didn't even know what it was. Finally he found a great doctor in the city...who gave him the correct diagnosis. After watching my father..who in my eyes has always been the strong, smart, and caring paramedic..become weak, vulnerable, and very sick.. I became quite fearful of this disease. Thank God (our Great Physician)..my father has been on the road to recovery for the past 2 years and is almost back to normal.

So...getting to the point. On Tuesday i was getting changed for the gym..I glanced on my bed and saw something strange...as i got closer i realized what it was...a tick. Now being that my husband and i have 2 100lb golden retrievers...a dog tick would be my first guess. But this sucker looked like a deer tick (these carry Lyme)..which should not even be around here in our area. I know.. I know how silly this sounds..but since this event on Tuesday...we have found 2 more of these little crawling fears of mine around the house and on one of the dogs.

So i have been filled with fear and worry...that myself or my husband will find one of the ticks on us and somehow end up sick. It is possible.. not likely...but try telling my brain that.

I have been working on my terrible habit of worry since i became a follower of Christ...and He has helped me through so very much and continues to do so. I take His word very serious and i try to apply it everyday of my life. "Do not be afraid" enters my mind..and i know its important to God to tell us that..cause He says it many times. But it worries me that i continue to worry...and although i latch myself on to God's Word and His wonderful promises...i continue to loose my grip at least once a day..and I surrender to the thoughts of my fears. Then I feel a gentle touch on my shoulder and a soft sweet whisper of His voice...I hear the screaming of my heart "be anxious for NOTHING"...and for the moment the fears fade.

I am able to be the positive support that others needs..and I'm good at reminding others about the powerful use of the scriptures..its seems that i lack at reminding myself.

I always think of a saying I heard "Worry is like a rocking chair..it keeps you busy, but gets you no where"...well its been keeping me me busy and getting me no where all week.

Praying to be a warrior and not a worrier...

JM

Finally...

2009-02-10T07:34:00.002-09:00

I finally found my blog! I have not blogged in over a year...because i could not remember my password and then i just let the time pass...and pass. But I have been filled with thoughts and i decided to try every password i could think of and i FINALLY found it! I am way over due for my blogs and i cant wait to get back into the routine of a daily blogger..

So.. i am excited to have found my long lost blog and i am looking forward to many posts to come!

Reunited,

JM

Long time no blog........

2006-10-04T04:47:00.000-08:00

I am reading a book called "I am not..but I know...I AM" by Louie Giglio that is helping to remind me that this life is not the story of "me" but really the story of God...it is very scary how we get so caught up in "me".....it burdens my heart.

I have a bad habit of reading the last pages of the book when I get to the middle....I dont know why. I can resist it in the beginning but for some reason when I am enjoying the book so much once I hit that middle section....to the last chapter I go. Anyway I was happy that I did it last night because these encouraging last pages are what my heart needed last night....and without fail AGAIN (and again and again) God knew it! These so simple but so true statements made by Giglio were so much more than simple words to me last night...they were God our one and only TRUE Father speaking to me....while billions of His other children cry out to Him...He drew near to me..and gave me just what I needed.

So to spoil your reading if you ever choose to read this book....here is the end of the story...God's story.......

And in the days to come, when you're questioning, needing, searching, wondering, asking, and struggling, you will find His sufficiency at the end of every desperate prayer. When you cry out all the things that you are not, you’ll know His answer is “I AM”. For every cry there is one Answer:

I need help.
I AM

I need hope.
I AM

Who could possible be smart enough to figure this out?
I AM

What works?
I AM

What lasts?
I AM

What’s the latest thing?
I AM

What’s the hippest thing?
I AM

I need a fresh start.
I AM

I need a bigger story.
I AM

My vision in bigger than my resources.
I AM

Nothing’s real anymore.
I AM

Who can I trust?
I AM

I’m not sure who’s on my team.
I AM

Nobody’s listening to me.
I AM

I don’t have a prayer.
I AM

My marriage is sinking and I don’t know where to turn.
I AM

I can’t hold on.
I AM

My kids deserve more.
I AM

I’m pouring into others, who’s pouring into me?
I AM

If we fail, who will get the job done?
I AM

I’m not sure why I’m here.
I AM

I’ve given all I can give and it’s not enough.
I AM

I’m tired.
I AM

I quit.
I AM

I can’t.
I AM

I need a drink.
I AM

I need a fix.
I AM

I need a lover.
I AM

Someone just hold me.
I AM

And what does this great I AM say of Himself? He says to you and to me: “I am the way, I am the truth, and I am the life. I am the resurrection and the life. I am Savior. I am Jesus-the solution, the restorer, the builder, the answer, the Wise One, The Coming One, The Mighty One. I am the Lord and there is no other. I am God and there is none besides Me. I am the First and the Last. I am Alpha and Omega. I am the Beginning and the End. I am the Lord, that is My name, and I will not give My glory to another, or any of My praise to idols. I AM THAT I AM, and that is my name-My memorial name to every single generation.”

I am not,

A little more heart...

2006-06-21T08:16:00.000-08:00

My soul longs for You...its hunger never ceases
But my mind is its distraction…haunting you away
Unwillingly but naturally my thoughts may stray..
But naturally you retrieve me.
How do I Thank You every day.

Keep me on Your Holy mind, for it’s where I need to be.
Hold me in Your Holy hand, it’s where I am secure.
My faith is in You. I must say everyday my Faith is in You.
From morning to night my trust is in You.
You are Conqueror of my heart…Champion of my existence..

When darkness falls…I seek You
When skies are clear…I see you
Your love is a warm sunset….
Your Shadow my best friend…

I put my unworthy hand in Yours…it is Mighty.
Like a child I adore You.
But You do not abandon…or let this child down.
Your words will never shatter..
Our bond You do not break..

You are Power and Peace combined.
Your kindness flows from Your veins.
Your breath of life rescues me.

You are my Hero…
My Friend…
My First Love…
My Survival…

Thank You.

On my heart...

2006-06-07T07:48:00.000-08:00

My thoughts stray from you Lord.
It’s not natural.
But naturally you retrieve me.
Thank you.

Keep me on Your Holy mind, for it’s where I need to be.
Hold me in Your Holy hand, it’s where I am secure.
Father, my faith is in You. I must say everyday my Faith is in You.
From morning to night my trust is in You.

When darkness falls…I seek You…and find You.
Thank You.

When skies are clear…I see you.
Thank You.

I put my unworthy hand in Yours…it is Mighty.
Like a child I adore You.
But You do not abandon…nor let this child down.
Thank You.

You are Power and Peace combined.
Your kindness flows from Your veins.
Your breath of life rescues me.

You are my Hero…
My Friend…
My First Love…
Thank You.

I don't know why...

2006-06-02T05:24:00.002-08:00

I dont know why i did all of these stupid "quizthings". I was bored and did something absolutely non-productive....and here are the useless results!

What kind of food am I?

After some meaningless questions this is what it said....

You Are Chinese Food
Exotic yet ordinary.People think they've had enough of you, but they're back for more in an hour.

After my first love Jesus..my second love Abraham and a few other very important loves...one if my passions is cooking...so to be told that I am chinese food (not that I dont like to eat it) is a little bit of a let down. There are many other more exotic foods than that.

What Jelly Bean flavor am I?

Now this only took one meaningless questions...

You Are a Cherry Jelly Bean
Sweet yet strong, you have a distinct personality without being a weirdo. You're the most normal of all flavors - but you're never boring.

What Candy am I?

Ok this one was a little dirty...

Snickers
Nutty and gooey - you always satisfy.

Shame on that one...

What monster are you?

Now this will come in handy! LOL

Your Monster Profile
Name: Undead Enigma
You Feast On: Olives
You Lurk Around In: Swamps
You Especially Like to Torment: Dentists

What is your Brains Pattern?

I picked what picture appealed most to me...and this is my way of thinking!!

Your Brain's Pattern
You have a tempered, reasonable way of thinking.You tend to take every new idea in, and meld it with your world view.For you, everything is always changing. Each moment is different.Your thinking process tends to be very natural - with no beginnings or endings.

What is my sexy Brazilian name?

This is great!

Your Sexy Brazilian Name is:

Marina de Vasconcelos

What Margarita flavor are you?

This one was actually pretty accurate...lol! But i would not kick back a couple...one is enough!

You Are a Strawberry Margarita
You're so sweet it's a little overwhelming, and people are a little afraid of corrupting you...It's a little difficult to imagine you with a margarita. And you're truly a different person after you've kicked back a couple!

What X-men are you?

Yes I like X-men movies...he wouldnt be my first choice to be as a superhero but I would date him! (Sorry baby)

You Are Cyclops
Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause.You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them.Power: force beams from your eyes

What is your theme song?

Now this I like!!

Your Theme Song is Beautiful Day by U2
"Sky falls, you feel likeIt's a beautiful dayDon't let it get away"
You see the beauty in life, especially in ordinary everyday moments.And if you're feeling down, even that seems a little beautiful too.

What sign is your perfect match?

Now this one freaked me out a bit becuse my boyfriend is a Cancer!

Your True Love Is a Cancer
Why you'll love a Cancer:Cancer's loyal and sincere heart makes your own sensitive heart melt.Caring and devoted, a Cancer will take the lead in pursuing you - and not give up!Why a Cancer will love you:You're laid back enough to deal with Cancer's little mood swings and freak-outs.A fellow homebody, you know how make Cancer comfortable and at home with you.

We will end the useless quizes with this one...

What kind of kisser are you?

You're a Romantic Kisser
For you, kissing is all about feeling the romanceYou love to kiss under the stars or by the seaThe perfect kiss involves the perfect moodIt's pretty common for kisses to sweep you off your feet!

Well that takes #1 on my the most useless post of my blog. I will return to more meaningful conversation very soon...I hope!

?LOVE?

2006-05-17T11:14:00.000-08:00

To complex to discuss….

But I am convinced that although men and women differ on so many levels….one is ultimately just as difficult as the other.

Sure about my Saviors Love….and that’s about it
JD

15 "Ways" To Live Longer

2006-05-12T09:49:00.000-08:00

I was sending a mother’s day ecard when I saw this pop up…”15 Ways to Live Longer”…so I decided to read some of the world’s views and studies done on how to live longer. Most of the results were because of studies conducted and the evidence found from them…but I get a kick our of how each sentence strts with “they say” or “people who”…”according to” who are these famous people who take part in these studies…I mean I know these statistics can not be made up…but have you ever met anyone that was part of these tests? Sillly topic but it boggled my mind a bit….

So here they are 15 ways of the world to “live longer”…(of course I will be commenting in bold with what I think God would say)

1. Don't Oversleep

Here's a reason not to hit the snooze button anymore: Sleeping too much can reduce life expectancy, according to a February 2002 study in the Archives of General Psychiatry. The study found that people who sleep more than eight hours per night had a significantly higher death rate than normal. But late-night-party-goers shouldn't rejoice: researches say that sleeping less than four hours also increases death rates. People who sleep between six and seven hours per night were shown to live the longest.

God says…

But you, lazybones, how long will you sleep? When will you wake up? I want you to learn this lesson: A little extra sleep, a little more slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest-- and poverty will pounce on you like a bandit; scarcity will attack you like an armed robber.
Prov 6:9-11

So be on your guard, not asleep like the others. Stay alert and be sober. Night is the time for sleep and the time when people get drunk. But let us who live in the light think clearly, protected by the body armor of faith and love, and wearing as our helmet the confidence of our salvation. 1 Thessalonians 5:6-8

“It’s useless to rise early and go to bed late, and work your worried fingers to the bone. Don’t you know God enjoys giving rest to those He loves?” Psalm 127:2

2. Be Optimistic

Researchers at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn., found that optimistic people had a 50% decreased risk of early death compared with those who leaned more toward pessimism. The results, published in the August 2002 issue of Mayo Clinic Proceedings, make sense: Those with a positive outlook on life are probably less stressed, better equipped to deal with adversity and, consequently, healthier. Optimists also tend to have lower blood pressure than pessimists, which, again, is most likely related to how positive thinkers respond to stress.

Hmmm…makes sense:

A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. Proverbs 15:13

I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Phil 4:12

3. Have More Sex

No complaints here. There's decent evidence that sex helps keep us healthy, and thus increases longevity. But according to researchers, it's not necessarily an actual biological response generated by sex that makes us live longer. What's more likely is that having intimate sex means you are less stressed, happier and better rested--all factors that can lower blood pressure and protect against stroke and heart disease. A study published in the April 2004 Journal of the American Medical Association found that "high ejaculation frequency was related to decreased risk of total prostate cancer."

Okay…under God’s circumstances (being married…and to your husband or wife only) I agree! NEXT……….

4. Get a Pet

People who own pets, especially dogs, have been shown to be less stressed and require fewer visits to their physicians than non-owners. Survival rates for heart-attack victims who had a pet have been shown to be 12% longer than for those who did not have one, according to one of the first studies dealing with the impact pets can have on our health, led by researcher Erica Friedmann. Pet owners have also been shown to have lower blood pressure. The reasons are most likely related to an array of psychological factors, such as the facts that owning a pet decreases loneliness and depression, encourages laughter and nurturing, and stimulates exercise.

Ummm….no comment.

5. get a VAP

It's estimated that about half of the people with heart disease--the No. 1 killer in the U.S.--have normal cholesterol levels, which raises serious doubt about the ability of traditional cholesterol tests to detect risk. But more advanced cholesterol tests, like the VAP test, made by the Birmingham, Ala.-based lab Atherotech, may remedy that. VAP measures important metrics that traditional tests miss. Regular tests only detect half of the people with heart disease, while the VAP has been shown to detect 90% of heart disease patients. That's important because lipid abnormalities can most often be rectified with medication and dietary changes. And the sooner you start making changes, the better.

Well…medically speaking I guess they have to add that one…but it shouldn’t be in the top 15.

6. Be Rich

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, 24% of Americans whose family income is less than $20,000 are "limited" by chronic disease, whereas only 6% of people with an income of $75,000 or more have this problem. In general, population groups that suffer the worst health have the highest poverty rates and the least education. One possible explanation: Higher incomes permit access to better food and housing, safer neighborhoods and increased medical care. Higher incomes also increase the opportunity to engage in health-promoting behaviors. Of course, being a chief executive certainly exposes you to a high level of stress that can decrease life expectancy. But according to the data, striving to be financially comfortable is a good goal for aspiring centenarians.

Ya think so…lets take a gander…

A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold. Rich and poor have this in common: The LORD is the Maker of them all. Prov 22:1-3

Do not wear yourself out to get rich; have the wisdom to show restraint. Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone, for they will surely sprout wings and fly off to the sky like an eagle. Prov 23:3-5

Better a poor man whose walk is blameless than a rich man whose ways are perverse….. A rich man may be wise in his own eyes, but a poor man who has discernment sees through him…. A faithful man will be richly blessed, but one eager to get rich will not go unpunished….. A stingy man is eager to get rich and is unaware that poverty awaits him.
Prov 28: 6, 11, 20, 22

"Two things I ask of you, O LORD; do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the LORD ?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God. Proc 30:7-9

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Matthew 19:23-24

But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
1 Timothy 6:8-10

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. 1 Timothy 6:17-18

7. Stop Smoking

To say that smoking is bad for your health is, of course, not revelatory. But it still cannot be denied that quitting can significantly improve your prospects for a long life. Middle-aged men who are long-term, heavy smokers face twice the risk of developing more aggressive forms of prostate cancer than men who have never smoked, according to findings that appeared in the July 2003 issue of Cancer Epidemiology, Biomarkers and Prevention. According to a recent study in the Archives of Gerontology and Geriatrics, cigarette smoking has been clearly linked to the most common causes of death in the elderly.

Obvious!!!

8. Chill Out

A study led by the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine in 2002 found that men classified as having the highest level of anger in response to stress were over three times more likely to develop premature heart disease than men who reported lower anger responses. They were also over six times more likely to have a heart attack by the age of 55. One possible explanation is the correlation between anger and high blood pressure, a condition that commonly develops in highly stressed individuals. The lesson is simple: Try as much as you can to let unavoidable, everyday stresses roll off your shoulders.

Not just men….

Those who control their tongue will have a long life; a quick retort can ruin everything.
Proverbs 13:3

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1
The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride. Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools. Ecclesiastes 7:8-9

A relaxed attitude lengthens a man’s life; jealousy rots it away.. Proverbs 14:30

#8 should be ‘Love More’ the way God says to love…

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…… 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

9. Eat Your Antioxidants

Antioxidants, substances that are found in foods ranging from cinnamon to blueberries, can scavenge free radicals, compounds whose unstable chemical nature accelerates the effect of aging on our cells. Until these excess free radicals are quenched by antioxidant molecules, cellular damage accumulates. This contributes to an array of degenerative diseases, including atherosclerosis, Alzheimer's and cancer. Research shows that certain types of beans (kidney, pinto, black) are among the best sources of antioxidants, while blueberries and other berries follow close behind.

Mmmmm…..

10. Marry Well

While the phrase "marry well" is typically used to describe people who marry someone rich, we are talking about something entirely different: genetics. Apparently, longevity genes can be inherited. According to a February 2005 study in Mechanisms of Aging and Development, exceptional longevity and healthy aging is an inherited phenotype across three generations. So, for the single people out there, pick a spouse whose grandparents are still alive. This won't make you live longer, but it might help your children.

Now this one’s a kicker… forget about love…just marry someone with good genes…lol that’s great.

11. Exercise

Get up and start moving. Not only does exercise help us maintain our weight, it improves our cardiovascular health, strengthens the bones and increases endorphins in the body--hormones that give us energy, make us happier and help ward off stress and disease. "If you don't use it, you lose it," says Dr. Merl Myerson, director of cardiovascular prevention at St. Luke's/Roosevelt Hospital in Manhattan. "We find that active people will do better, live longer."

Again obvious…

12. Laugh A Little

Laughter reduces levels of stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. It also releases endorphins that work as pain killers and gives your blood circulation a boost. Not to mention it relaxes blood vessels and keeps a person from being angry--a significant predictor of heart disease. "The higher you score on anger and hostility, the greater the likely hood you'll have a heart attack," says Dr. David Fein, medical director at Princeton Longevity Center in New Jersey.

Really we don’t need a study done for that one…it naturally feels so good to laugh we should just know it!

13. Lose Weight

For people who are overweight or obese, life is a ticking time bomb. They have increased risk of heart disease and several types of cancer, along with higher risk of developing Type 2 diabetes--a condition that is becoming an epidemic in the U.S. "The real way to lose weight is to cut back on food intake," says Dr. David Fein, Medical Director at Princeton Longevity Center in New Jersey. "People are under the impression that they can exercise weight off, but exercise is a means to maintain weight.

Boring way to live longer....

14. Manage Stress

Everyone has stress to a certain degree, but not everyone knows how to manage it. The key is to recognize what the big factors are in your life and how to mitigate them. Constant stress produces high levels of cortisol, which has been shown to impair cognitive functioning and weaken the immune system. "I think stress kills more people than just about anything else," says Dr. David Fein, medical Director at Princeton Longevity Center in New Jersey.

One Word….PRAY !!!!

15. Meditate

According to Dr. Woodson Merrell of Beth Israel Hospital in New York City, the most powerful healing tool for stress and prolonged life is meditation. It clears the mind of thought and lets a person concentrate on tranquility. Fifteen minutes of meditation has been shown to produce a much more relaxed state of mind than one hour of the deepest sleep. Even starting the day with just two minutes of meditation can be beneficial. Sit with your spine erect and try to quiet your thoughts; it may help to concentrate on one word.

Three words….Talk to Jesus!!

Do that for 15 minutes a day and then talk to me about a more relaxed state of mind….

Well…I just felt like doing this for some reason. I found it a little upsetting there was nothing about prayer or God. But someone should really tell these people they can stop wasting so much money on these surveys and tests…its all in the bible anyway!

To long life with God…on earth and eternally…
JD

"Trust"

2006-05-09T05:18:00.000-08:00

Why on earth (literally) is this word abused and used so irresponsibly? Am I just naive to believe in the faithfulness of others…why do we take that meaningful word “trust” and destroy it? Yet the bible uses it with pride and confidence…but ahhh we are human and the flesh is weak..is that really a good reason…is that enough to justify betrayal? I think our flesh is as weak as we allow and believe it to be. But when we are weak …God is more present and powerful…why then are we still so easily led astray?

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
2 Corinthians 12: 9-11 (KJV)

Disappointed,
JD

BUT….and it’s a BIG but..
Oh Lord my savior…my forever friend I put all my faith, hope and love in You. I rely, depend and confide in You. You are my peace and the One I can count on. My confidence is in you Jesus…for your “trust” is worthy.

But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. Psalm 13: 4-6

The LORD is my strength, my shield from every danger. I trust in him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. Psalm 28: 6-8

For the word of the LORD holds true, and everything he does is worthy of our trust.
Psalm 33:3-5

Trust me in your times of trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory."
Psalm 50:14-16

O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.
Psalm 62:7-9

It is better to trust the LORD than to put confidence in people. Psalm 118:7-9

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the LORD always,for the LORD GOD is the eternal Rock. Isaiah 26:3-4

I have come as a light to shine in this dark world, so that all who put their trust in me will no longer remain in the darkness. John 12: 45-47

Let us go right into the presence of God, with true hearts fully trusting him. For our evil consciences have been sprinkled with Christ's blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water. Without wavering, let us hold tightly to the hope we say we have, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. Hebrews 10:22-24

Rating Your Dating While Waiting for Mating...

2006-05-04T09:34:00.000-08:00

Just finished this book from Ed Young called “Rating Your Dating While Waiting for Mating” (say that bad boy a dozen times fast). I read it for a few reasons (besides the obvious) but while in the relationship class we watched a video that Ed Young made and I really liked his “dating approach”. I also admired the way he spoke of his wife….it touches my heart when I hear men authentically talk of the love for their wife. Only 3 men so far (that I have met) have done it..one of my pastors George…the preacher at teen camp 2 years ago Jeremiah Bolich and Ed Young. Anyway… the book was short only 94 pages and very simple. But definitely worth it for our teens.. which is the other reason I read it. This book would be great for teens it really can reach them on a “cool” level (which I sometimes can not) with Young’s creative description on finding your “ulti-mate”.

Although I realized a few pages in that his focus for this book was mainly for an age range of prob about 15-20 a few things really spoke to me (of course God would use anything He wants to talk) it was just different that what I usually read. He used a lot of car references to explain things which at times were pretty comical, but it really was a great approach especially for our generation. But what I liked most about this book was that it did not just gently touch on premarital sex…it took up 2 out of the 4 chapters (I said it was short)! But he didn’t just lay down more rules for us to follow he really got into “?why?” God wants it this way…why it is to protect us not torture us. He also went over “the test drive deception” which is common sometimes in dating….when we want to just “try things out for a while before sealing the deal”. But while we take our potential mate our for a little spin we damage our relationship with them and God in the meantime. While men test-drive to try out the intimacy and maybe the “house wife” abilities…women test-drive for a whole other reason. Yep…to manipulate your man into marriage…that definitely sounds like us…lol!

There were a lot of great points in the book with biblical backing which always makes it even better! Another great point was next to the decision to follow Christ this is the next most important decision we have to make in our lives!! So I will be forcing my bible study that I lead of 7th -10th grade girls and maybe even by boyfriend (that should be fun) to read this book…but if anything it has made me appreciate (and understand) God’s reason for dating before mating much more!

Rating my dating!!!
JD

And me? I'm a mess....

2006-04-21T05:40:00.000-08:00

A mess who is joyful in the Lord! My heart is a bit of a rollercoaster lately…life is always busy…crazy…but the past few days more than usual. A lot going on..My father was admitted to the hospital a few days ago… for various reasons he has been having some problems the past few months. They are having a problem getting to the bottom of the situation because it doesn’t seem to be “health” related. He has not been able to sleep for the past few weeks so he is obviously sleep deprived…and he has been having a lot of anxiety lately. Mostly about his health and finances but it turned into more anxiety than he could handle. He has been trying or learning how to deepen his relationship with God (being a Catholic for most of his life) and I have noticed a significant difference in his life but then all this came.

Between this and other things in my life I feel like the world is at its best trying to beat me up and take me down…but I say No! I am trying not to let these circumstances consume me…but I have to say it is tempting. Leaving the hospital last night I was very guilty for leaving my father because he was not asleep again and more worried than before. But I held back tears because I am tuff and don’t have reason to cry because I trust in God and know that He gives me strength….and then God said “YES…but???”…I get into my car after 15 minutes of trying to find my car…and I go to start it and there is a big spider looking right at me…now this might sound simple to some but it is my worst nightmare. I have an insanely ridiculous fear of spiders. So I lost it…I was crying so much I had to remind myself to breathe. So after 5 or so minutes of sobbing…I felt God with me saying I am you strength but you are not GOD…I AM…so let Me be God and you can cry and I am hear to catch your tears…so I realized God really has a great sense of humor I mean it wasn’t funny at the time but He knew that little ugly eight legged thing would break me down enough to hear His voice.

So end result we all have storms of life…but Jesus Our Rock…Our Foundation will see is through…He is my calm of this storm and I will rest in Him and He will bring me through whatever the wind blows in.

I trust in You Lord…with life…circumstances and spiders.

I Will Praise you in this Storm
Casting Crowns

I was sure by now...God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away...And stepped in and saved the day
Once again, I say Amen, and it is still raining

As the thunder rolls I barely hear you whisper through the rain.. I’m with you
As your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives And takes away

I’ll Praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
You are who you are No matter where I am
And every tear I’ve cried You hold in your hand
You never left my side And though my heart is torn
I will Praise You in this storm

I remember whenI stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find you

I lift my eyes into the hills
Where does my help come from
My help comes from the Lord
The maker of heaven and earth

“Sometimes God calms our storms. Sometimes He chooses to ride them with us”
Casting Crowns

Cling to this…

We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Rom 8:28

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God… Psalm 42:5

I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
Psalm 121:1-2

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18

Praising God in this Storm…

From Sorrow to Joy....

2006-04-18T05:42:00.000-08:00

There is an obvious difference between Good Friday and Easter Sunday…not only in ambiance but a significant difference in our hearts. Our Good Friday service is like most…lights very dim…candles surrounding…tender music. One of our Pastors usually does the music alone on Good Friday but this time he asked me and another person to sing. At first I said yes and didn’t think much about it because I sing every Sunday…but then I realized this is an intense service and this is not to engage the congregation into worship…it’s a time of reflection. But something happens in me on Good Friday…I know it’s good because it’s God, but I still have not learned where to put it. It is odd for me not to be able to express what I am feeling…and its even odder (that’s a word right?) for a woman not to be able to put her finger on exactly what she is feeling (some relationship class input!) …but what is “it”…. sorrow…joy…devastation...praise…gratitude…anger…longing…peace…fear all at once.

We are in the sanctuary (we make it our sanctuary…but it’s really a college theatre) the lights are dim…candles are lit instead of lights because He is our light of the world… and I felt like there was an anticipation in the air.

To begin the service one of our teens sang “Via Dolorosa”….as she sang with her heart images of the way of the cross were on the screen. When she sang the words…And He bore with every step the scorn of those who cried out for His death…Like a lamb came the Messiah, Christ the King, But He chose to walk that road out of His love for you and me… more than tears and emotions roared from my heart. So the service continued…we sang more and all of the pastors took turns reading from Isaiah (which was so amazing it could be a whole other post...i mean i have read that so many times but the prophesies were more astounding at that moment then ever before) but I left there with something different….and I can’t quite understand it. I know that my heart was excited for Sunday and the wonderful service we would have…but something else…I don’t know. I always come back to our hunger for God….is this just how it feels to need Him and know and accept that you need Him. Is this just my Hunger for God??

I am all over the place with this post….and the weirdest thing is none of these feelings are negative or bad they are all good and under control…. Just a bit scattered. But I realize that sometimes our lives are a puzzle made by God… He knows what the picture will look like when it’s complete, but we have to pray for His will…so He can begin to place the pieces accurately and accordingly together to finish His picture…His perfect plan (perfect plan not perfect person...lol).

Praying for Jesus to put together my puzzle!
JD

Focus....

2006-04-13T09:30:00.000-08:00

Trying to get thoughts together the past few weeks have been difficult…not in a bad way (if possible)! But I thing among all the “things” the one thing I have realized is I need more Jesus…I just can not get enough of Him…when I was little I could never understand when someone said I have a “hunger” for God. It’s as clear as day to me now. But can we ever truly satisfy it here on earth or will it take us to be dwelling with Him in heaven to be satisfied. I know that my relationship with Christ fills the emptiness in my heart and soul…but my hunger to Know Him and love Him is never satisfied. I always need more. I’m not complaining because this is obviously a good thing.. but lately my thoughts are a bit overwhelming…again not in a bad way... good thoughts can be overwhelming too! I was thinking... our souls are alive in Christ and with Easter so close…maybe our souls are flooded with joy because of the Resurrection that we humanly can not contain it. I was also thinking that if someone decides to read this they might think I am a complete wacko…ahh who cares it’s my soul talking not me!

I was listening to Casting Crowns CD Lifesong…and in one of the songs they say:
“The father gave His only Son..the Way the Truth the Life had come but there was no room for Him in the world He came to save…” and it really jumped out to me and I have listened to that part before but it touched my heart today. It gave me a peace (the kind that surpasses all understanding!!) just to know that He came willingly and full of love to save a world that He knew would reject Him…now that’s something to rejoice in!

Joyful for Jesus…
JD

In a World of broken cups.....

2006-03-23T05:10:00.000-09:00

Well I am taking a relationship class with my boyfriend for many reasons…we have had some down time in our relationship the past month…like all couples (Christian or not).. the end result is.. God has made men and women different. He has magnificently wired each of us a maze of our own.

One of my pastors and his wife are giving the class in their cozy home. I have known them since I’m 8 and have noticed since I’m 8 that they have always had that “I’m so crazy about you” look in their eyes towards each other. I am very close with Pastor’s wife and admire her relationship with her husband but more her relationship with God. She always tells me she still freshens up her make up and gets butterflies in her belly before he gets home.. I love that!! I think you never loose the gift of love that way…when you keep your love so dear to you and look at them like the first time you met them…it cant end. Being in love can not become stale…soooo what’s my point…im not sure!

What I am learning in this class ( not that its not the obvious) is that without both of you (husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend) looking to God for what YOU need and what He needs to tell YOU…You can not be what the other person needs…does that make sense?? My pastor used a triangle to explain the bottom he put the man and the women…and at the top he put God. At first the man and the woman are looking at each other and trying to get all they need from one another. At that time their line of intimacy (not necessarily sex) is very far apart its at the longest line of the triangle. Then the husband and wife look to God…and He directs them and corrects them individually. As they focus on Him more and more they begin to move up the triangle together…with the line of intimacy getting closer and closer. So God deals with us and we learn how to deal with each other better. Now we can’t be at the top of the triangle with God until Heaven… but I imagine that even the closer we get the more like heaven it is. So…at the class they made us listen to a great song that really shed a lot of light on something…we all have a crack in our cup. I have posted the words below…but it goes so much better with the song...wish I knew how to do that…lol. But please read it anyway!!

Break in the Cup
From CD Big Horizon by David Wilcox

I try so hard to please you To be the love that fills you up I try to pour on sweet affection, But I think you got a broken cup. Because you can't believe I love you I try to tell you that there is no doubt, But as soon as I fill you with all I've got That little break will let it run right out. I cannot make you happy. I'm learning love and money never do But I can pour myself out 'til I'm empty Trying to be just who you'd want me to. But I cannot make you happy Even though our love is true For there's a break in the cup that holds love Inside of you.

Now I begin to understand you As you explain this fear you feel. It's when you see me fall into that sorrow it makes you doubt the love is real. 'Cause the lonely wind still blows through me I turn away so can't see But now how could I still be so empty With all the love that you pour on me.

I guess you cannot make me happy That's a money back guarantee. But you can pour yourself out 'til you're empty Trying to be just who I'd want you to be. You cannot make me happy It's just the law of gravity And that break in the cup that holds love, Inside of me.

So if you're tempted to rescue me Drowning in this quicksand up to my neck Before you grab my hand to save me Why don't you ask me if I'm finished yet. Because you cannot make me happy Not when I'm empty inside of me But you can pull yourself right in here with me My misery’d love to have your company.

We cannot trade empty for empty We must go to the waterfall For there's a break in the cup that holds love, A break in the cup that holds love, A break in the cup that holds love, Inside us all. Inside us all.
http://www.davidwilcox.com

Now I know its another girly song that us women make you men listen to…but it has sooo much more meaning….so we all are this cup made by God…these cracks whether made by ourselves or by the world need healing….so we look to each other to mend them…and we find them leaking over and over again….And the quicksand… that is when we beat the crap out of ourselves and love to sit and soak in our own misery (how often we sink!!)…and when we see a hand reaching into get us out….oh what it takes to grab it. But then we remember this waterfall of God…that living water...the one that quenches our thirst eternally…and we go and we place in it our cup and it’s streams flow through it and as long as we are seated in the Waterfall our cup is always full. And the best part…the streams that flow from our cracks flow into our relationship with others!! How amazing is that!! I was so excited I wanted to share it!!

Proof Please…..

Jeremiah 2:13
"My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.

John 4: 10-14
Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water." "Sir," the woman said, "you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his flocks and herds?" Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

Revelations 22:1
Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb…

Isaiah 43:19
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.
Well…there it is!! It was exciting for me...hope you can follow it I get a little excited and tend to jump around a bit!

In the Great Waterfall…with my cup!
JD

Sacrifice....

2006-03-10T06:58:00.000-09:00

Inspired by my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, and others blogs I have read on Lent… I decided to really want to learn about lent. It has been one of those things that you know the basics of it but your not really sure why. I have done some reading and realized how important Lent really is for our walk with Jesus. In reading this excerpt from Rev. Kenneth Collins he states that "we avoid Lent because it isn't a happy and uplifting time...But in this we miss the whole point of the incarnation! God became flesh in Jesus. Jesus faced temptation. He suffered hunger and thirst, He suffered the agony of crucifixion. Jesus did not face these things so that we would be exempt from them, He faced these things so that we would have dignity in them.

Last night at our Bible study we talked about how we need to pray for God to reveal to us what He would like us to sacrifice for the 40 days. So that our motives of "giving up" something are not to loose weight or boast in look how long I can not do this....but to really make a connection with God in reflecting at this time with Him.

This Lent lets retreat into the Wilderness with Jesus.....

" Lent is a season of soul-searching and repentance. It is a season for reflection and taking stock. Lent originated in the very earliest days of the Church as a preparatory time for Easter, when the faithful rededicated themselves and when converts were instructed in the faith and prepared for baptism. By observing the forty days of Lent, the individual Christian imitates Jesus’ withdrawal into the wilderness for forty days. All churches that have a continuous history extending before AD 1500 observe Lent. The ancient church that wrote, collected, canonized, and propagated the New Testament also observed Lent, believing it to be a commandment from the apostles. " Rev. Kenneth W. Collins

Another excerpt that I read said...we need to "Give up neglecting God"...she says "instead of giving up chocolate this lent give up what most of us neglect-with more regularity than we care to admit-God".

“So let us show that we as Christians are not just Jesus’ groupies, we are His friends. Let us be bold to join Him, fasting in the wilderness for forty days during Lent; let us be bold to pray with Him, let us fearlessly stand at the foot of His cross on Good Friday, so that we may witness His Resurrection and His Ascension, and join in His triumphant reign. “ Rev. Kenneth Collins

In the wilderness…with Jesus!
J

Why worry?

2006-02-21T11:05:00.000-09:00

I wrote this as an email because I felt like God wanted me to share some things I have been reading...so then I realized I should post it also....

Some of my favorites that I keep on my heart at all times…to remind me to TRUST….

…Then I will answer the one who taunts me, for I trust in Your word. Psalm 229:42

…Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul. Psalm 43:8

….Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

…You will keep in perfect peace all who trust You, whose thoughts are fixed on You. Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal Rock. Isaiah 26: 3-4

…Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God and also in Me. John 14:1

…May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (I don’t remember..lol)

…But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourself. For I will give words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict. Luke 21: 13-15

…Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you can not do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Luke 12: 25-27

…Those who know Your name will trust in You, for You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You. Psalm 9:10

…They cried to you and were saved; in You they trusted and were not disappointed. Psalm 22:5

…But I trust in You, O Lord; I say "You are my God" Psalm 31:14

…When I am afraid, I will trust in you. Psalm 56:3

…He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Psalm 112:7

Now we all know this one but really think about what it means…its amazing what the world would feel like if we all lived this out…
…Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preservers. Love never fails…
And now these three remain faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. I Corinthians 13: 4-8,13

…Therefore it was necessary for Jesus to be in every respect like us, His brothers and sisters, so that He could be our merciful and faithful High Priest before God. He then could offer a sacrifice that would take away the sins of the people. Since He Himself has gone through suffering and temptation, He is able to help us when we are being tempted. Hebrews 2:16-18

And what could be better than to focus on this….
…He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the order of things has passed away. He who was seated on the throne said "I am making all things new!" Then He said "write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true. He said to me "It is done. I AM the Alpha and the Omega the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of Life". Revelations 21:4-6

…So we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard or we may drift away from it. Hebrews 2:1

Pray that this brings peace to you heart and joy to your spirit.

Long Pause....

2006-02-09T04:53:00.000-09:00

I have not posted anything since before Christmas…I don’t know why. I am inspired by sight and through my reading on a daily basis..I rejoice and am thankful almost every minute I am awake…so why the long pause?

I feel very overwhelmed…there are so many things I want to learn..read…share. How do we have enough time on earth to really have the Grace and Power of God sink in? I have found myself recently reflecting on when and why I choose to follow Christ. It was about 7 years ago…and I tried to remember exactly what it was that made me think of Jesus. Then I realized it was fear. At 17 I had a overwhelming panic attack when I thought of death. Not anyone else’s death just mine…I was paralyzed with the fear that this life would end and where would my mind be…what happens to my thougnts..and my body..my spirit…my soul? This was no ordinary fear…it had a purpose. My mother at that time was already a Christian for about 10 years…and my father a thick headed Italian catholic who based all of his decisions and judgment on his own understanding. To skip a bunch of time and a few more panic attacks that I kept secretly to myself…I willingly and joyfully dedicated my life to Christ. I wasn’t the only one, my brother became a Christian at a different church he attended…but his story would take a whole other post. So God had revealed Himself to all of us and we accepted His invitation to follow Him…accept my dad.

Why does this all come to mind…2 years ago my dad started coming to church regularly every Sunday (by this time my parents have been separated for about 3 years…now divorced). I thought he was coming just to hear me sing in the worship team (and maybe at that time that was the only reason) but now of course, all in the magnificent timing of the Lord, his intentions have changed. My father for the first time last night shared with me that he wants to dedicate his life to Christ…this was astounding!! I have to be honest I have prayed for my father soo many times... but there was always that little thought of doubt that he could never have enough faith….but me of little faith how could I not realize that nothing is impossible with God.

So why tell this whole story… these recent occurrences have been amazing and have set my feet even firmer than before on our Solid Rock…Jesus. I thank Him for taking hold of my family…one by one…and each one in His own way which shows me His uniqueness. Maybe I share this so that a person that reads this ( if anyone does…lol) will stand firm and trust in the Lord because He can do all things….and we can do all things in Him. Do not give up on that person that you have been praying for…trust that God will move in them... because He will.

I will be posting more now… I think I am reading to many books at one time…it leaves my mind overwhelmed with thoughts and things to share….I would rather be reflecting on one thought at a time….maybe!

For God’s unique way,
J

More than your Birthday JESUS...

2005-12-23T05:07:00.000-09:00

Jesus, there is no where to begin...you have filled my heart with such love it is hard for me to hold in my heart..how does your heart not over flow with your love for us? You have given me love in abundance and showed me how to love abundantly...there are no words to thank you so I wont even try...please just know my heart and my devotion to you. As you birthday approaches (even though of course some have to make even that of when your birthday really was controversial) I will praise you..because I believe in the bible and I want to celebrate your birthday every day...when you return to us it wont matter if your birthday was in winter or fall...summer or spring...none of these arguments...lawsuits...wars...none of this will matter. Please forgive those Lord who have strayed so far away from your word...forgive us Lord for completely missing the point of it all sometimes...I thank you so much for opening my eyes when I hear you speak...You are worthy Jesus of more than a birthday and the only present I give you, not just today but every day you give me life...is my heart... it is yours to keep. Thank you for your present Father... of your son Jesus and what He has done for me.

Christmas or ChristMiss?

2005-12-08T04:49:00.000-09:00

Winter is beautiful...the white dusty snow and colorful lights all around...family and friends come over.. we eat ..we laugh...but WHY?

As I was reading last night all this came to mind after reading this scripture:

"Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus, my Lord. I have disgarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I may have Christ and become one with Him" Phil 3:8-9

It is all worthless when compared with the greatness of knowing Christ and trusting Him to save us.

What have we molded this "Holiday" to be..what is all the celebration for? Why the wrapping paper, mistle toe, reindeer, where did it all come from? Are we preparing milk and cookies for santa or our hearts for CHRIST. We will be drowning in the world with snowflakes and gingerbread men if we get caught up this season. Let us remember why it all began (ofcourse I am speaking to myself as well). Try and focus our attention on Him the Savior of all. Let us prepare our hearts and our souls and reflect in the days to come. We are to deep into "Christmas" to remove ourselves now, but lets not remove ourselves... let us include JESUS...we need to bring Him back into Christmas and show Him off. Lets bring Him to the malls with us...while we are shopping to buy presents for family memebrs who really dont need more than they already have...including me (thank you Lord for conviction)..but as we do these things let us bring Glory to His name by Blessing others in the simple ways. By holding a door... by not putting on the Holiday "frown" that you see in some faces. Let our faces display the joy we should be filled with inside.

I dont want to Miss Christ.. the birth of my Savior who has given me the best gift I will ever receive which is His Presence and His love every minute of every day....and the best part is it last FOREVER!

A moment to Worship...

2005-11-17T11:48:00.000-09:00

After coming across a very disturbing blog that should not even be allowed to be posted.. I needed to take a moment to worship and praise...

…Jesus you have built your home in my heart. It is yours to dwell in forever. I will praise and worship You all of my days. Thank you for saving me from this world. I am yours forever. You have shed Your light upon me and I receive it Eternally. Your grace is abundant in my heart. Your presence is my hiding place. Your mercy... my best friend. Without you I am homeless. My faith is my refuge. Your name is Holy and Your voice as real as the air I breathe. Never leave your home in my heart...my love for You will last Forever.

Ok..now I feel better...its a dangerous blog out there...readers beware...I will not even share what I read...it was to disturbing...I wish God didn't even know it existed it's so awful..

Becoming Immune......

2005-11-17T09:23:00.000-09:00

I was looking at the moon the other night…WOW! The earth is amazing… it sings God’s praises.. if we just slow down and listen. I mean how can man kind live and breathe here everyday and not notice…I do it too sometimes…it’s like we become immune to our surroundings.

As children we are molded into this fast moving…multi-tasking…compulsive country and its like STOP…look at how Blessed we are, not just as a nation but as a planet. He holds us in the palm of His Mighty Hand and we still think we are in control. I was in awe of the beauty of fall the past few days…how everything in nature works together...they know what season it is…we don’t tell them…doesn’t that amaze anyone…and I know it’s child-like thinking and nothing scientific (not that I agree with science)…but it's so sad to me that we take these simple God breathed things for granted. And I am sure it is sad to Him. He mad all of it for us to enjoy and it’s probably only a glimpse of Heaven…how can we prepare ourselves for Heaven if we don’t even pay attention to the beauty on earth?

Anyway…from this day on I don’t want to be immune to my surroundings. I will look for God’s hand and listen for His voice in everything…not because I am special and He will speak to me because of any other reason then because I love Him and I feel Blessed to know and love His son and our Savior Jesus….

For the Beauty of the Earth….
JD

(My Pastor wrote a song titled that…I wish I had the words to write they are great!!)

Connected.....

2005-11-09T08:43:00.000-09:00

How crazy is it that at the punch of a password and a quick search we can be connected with someone on the other side of the world...I know I am a little behind and this has been possible for a while now...but really.. have we thought about this Spiritually...God gave us these gifts to create... to immagine...to invent...He knew at this point in time we would be communicating with eachother with the touch of a key....Don't you think He has a plan?? Anyway my point is if we really thought and prayed about the power we have in email and these blogs to encourage...inspire...love....to sometimes just represent God...I think we can make a difference in the life of someone we might never even meet or speak to...why am I thinking of this so early in the morning...who knows!!

I beleive that God can use even computers to bring people to Him...and things that sound the most far fetched are things He likes to do most because it again shows He is a God of the impossible!

An Online Diary?

2005-11-04T07:24:00.000-09:00

Having a diary in your own house isn't safe...why would we even think of typing our thoughts down on a computer where the whole world has free access to read how not normal we are? Well...I did it anyway! I figure even if no one ever reads this..it has to in some way be theraputic and maybe prayerful. My Pastor's wife, who I love and admire, writes down thoughts, poems, prayers and stories..she has so many notebooks filled with life. She shared a few things with me that blessed my soul and made me realize why she is so grounded in the Lord..as she pours her heart and soul onto the paper..she is pouring it onto God as well.

We think all day long...and for many sometimes night and day. And sometimes its a Blessing that only God hears our thoughts...and ofcourse depending on the thought maybe we wish He didn't. But I decided that sharing some of my thoughts (it might be only me I am sharing them with) might be another way for God to use me..I have found a few Christian blogs in the past that spoke to my heart or gave me a lift of encouragment to see that others on the walk for Christ do go through some of the same struggles,trials, and have the same JOY. Or if the only reason for this blog is for me to "type" my heart to God..so be it. I know we can pray anytime and He hears us..all we have to do is close our eyes and talk to Him and it is done. But oh the distractions of life..how they slowly creep into your head...how our cell phones manage to ring at that moment. I feel like this is a time with God and even if its just for Him or He uses it for another it brings me closer to Him..and thats the point!