Routine...Longing
I seem to have two things on my mind this week...among many other things. One is routine...I'm am trying to get back into my "routine" after a week away that seems harder than i thought. But i also don't want to have a "routine" where life is so expected and usual. Wake up...drop Abe off at the train...go to work..work...eat...drive home..pick up Abe from train...go to gym...go home..cook dinner...laundry...dishes...read bible...pray with husband..sleep...wake...start over. Ugh! And then i realize...its everyone. I know its not just me that has these routines. Especially with children i could imagine...but is that the way it should be? There are many things that i look forward to during my weekly routing...Monday night bible study...Wednesday night worship practice...Friday night FNL...Saturday date night...Sunday church, worship, fellowship! Those are the things that i love being routine and i wouldnt want them to change. Those are the activities I missed during vacation. I think i am more aware of my routine after a week away with no agenda...I'm sure in a few weeks it will just be normal again. But is it?
Which brings me to the second thing on my mind this week...longing. Lately i have felt a longing for something and i don't know what it is. Its not a void necessarily but i cant seem to figure it out. I know i am filled and fulfilled by God and I could not live without His presence in my life. He already filled a large whole in my heart a long time ago. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and fills my life with joy. I am happier than i have ever been at church and with my church family and i know that God is using me there. And i also know that He has big plans for Abe and I in the future...His future. I have a mother and father who love and support me..a niece I adore with all my heart. I have a good secure job...which is definitely not what i would have choose for my life. But seemed to fall into place whether is was my fault or not...but i am grateful to be working and to be in a secure job. But is it that? Is there somewhere else i should be spending 8 hours of my day Monday through Friday...should i be in school...am i wasting my time...my life? These are the things i have been pondering this week. So i will pray and seek my Father in heaven for guidance..for peace..and as always He will not let me down.
Is longing natural? Can you still feel it all the major things in your life are taken care of (what we consider major) and things are where they should be? Will it always exist? Is it possible to be filled to the brim in life with everything your heart desires...even the things you cant put your finger on?
I have longings that i am aware of...longings to show people Christ and His love...longing to bring my family to church and for them to want to be there (two different things)...longing to be all that God wants me to be...longing to be the wife he created me to be...the friend i should be...eventually the mother He instructs me to be...and above all I long to be an example.. His example.. with His character shining through me...His follower but one that draws people to Him and does not turn them away. Those longings i am conscious of...but then there is something i am missing and i don't know what it is. Could they all be linked? Are they all the same thing? Just some thoughts i guess...which for some odd reason always feel better when you write (type) them down.
Longing for the right routine...
JM
Which brings me to the second thing on my mind this week...longing. Lately i have felt a longing for something and i don't know what it is. Its not a void necessarily but i cant seem to figure it out. I know i am filled and fulfilled by God and I could not live without His presence in my life. He already filled a large whole in my heart a long time ago. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and fills my life with joy. I am happier than i have ever been at church and with my church family and i know that God is using me there. And i also know that He has big plans for Abe and I in the future...His future. I have a mother and father who love and support me..a niece I adore with all my heart. I have a good secure job...which is definitely not what i would have choose for my life. But seemed to fall into place whether is was my fault or not...but i am grateful to be working and to be in a secure job. But is it that? Is there somewhere else i should be spending 8 hours of my day Monday through Friday...should i be in school...am i wasting my time...my life? These are the things i have been pondering this week. So i will pray and seek my Father in heaven for guidance..for peace..and as always He will not let me down.
Is longing natural? Can you still feel it all the major things in your life are taken care of (what we consider major) and things are where they should be? Will it always exist? Is it possible to be filled to the brim in life with everything your heart desires...even the things you cant put your finger on?
I have longings that i am aware of...longings to show people Christ and His love...longing to bring my family to church and for them to want to be there (two different things)...longing to be all that God wants me to be...longing to be the wife he created me to be...the friend i should be...eventually the mother He instructs me to be...and above all I long to be an example.. His example.. with His character shining through me...His follower but one that draws people to Him and does not turn them away. Those longings i am conscious of...but then there is something i am missing and i don't know what it is. Could they all be linked? Are they all the same thing? Just some thoughts i guess...which for some odd reason always feel better when you write (type) them down.
Longing for the right routine...
JM
posted by Jacquie at 4:01 AM
2 Comments:
good stuff, jacquie. i have missed your blog.
Thanks bill! I missed your blog too! I read all of your posts that i missed while i was away! Its very refreshing! I'm so happy you post everyday...it gives me something to look forward to at work!
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