And me? I'm a mess....

A mess who is joyful in the Lord! My heart is a bit of a rollercoaster lately…life is always busy…crazy…but the past few days more than usual. A lot going on..My father was admitted to the hospital a few days ago… for various reasons he has been having some problems the past few months. They are having a problem getting to the bottom of the situation because it doesn’t seem to be “health” related. He has not been able to sleep for the past few weeks so he is obviously sleep deprived…and he has been having a lot of anxiety lately. Mostly about his health and finances but it turned into more anxiety than he could handle. He has been trying or learning how to deepen his relationship with God (being a Catholic for most of his life) and I have noticed a significant difference in his life but then all this came.

Between this and other things in my life I feel like the world is at its best trying to beat me up and take me down…but I say No! I am trying not to let these circumstances consume me…but I have to say it is tempting. Leaving the hospital last night I was very guilty for leaving my father because he was not asleep again and more worried than before. But I held back tears because I am tuff and don’t have reason to cry because I trust in God and know that He gives me strength….and then God said “YES…but???”…I get into my car after 15 minutes of trying to find my car…and I go to start it and there is a big spider looking right at me…now this might sound simple to some but it is my worst nightmare. I have an insanely ridiculous fear of spiders. So I lost it…I was crying so much I had to remind myself to breathe. So after 5 or so minutes of sobbing…I felt God with me saying I am you strength but you are not GOD…I AM…so let Me be God and you can cry and I am hear to catch your tears…so I realized God really has a great sense of humor I mean it wasn’t funny at the time but He knew that little ugly eight legged thing would break me down enough to hear His voice.

So end result we all have storms of life…but Jesus Our Rock…Our Foundation will see is through…He is my calm of this storm and I will rest in Him and He will bring me through whatever the wind blows in.

I trust in You Lord…with life…circumstances and spiders.

I Will Praise you in this Storm
Casting Crowns

I was sure by now...God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away...And stepped in and saved the day
Once again, I say Amen, and it is still raining

As the thunder rolls I barely hear you whisper through the rain.. I’m with you
As your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives And takes away

I’ll Praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
You are who you are No matter where I am
And every tear I’ve cried You hold in your hand
You never left my side And though my heart is torn
I will Praise You in this storm

I remember whenI stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find you

I lift my eyes into the hills
Where does my help come from
My help comes from the Lord
The maker of heaven and earth

“Sometimes God calms our storms. Sometimes He chooses to ride them with us”
Casting Crowns

Cling to this…

We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Rom 8:28

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God… Psalm 42:5

I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
Psalm 121:1-2

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18

Praising God in this Storm…