From Sorrow to Joy....

There is an obvious difference between Good Friday and Easter Sunday…not only in ambiance but a significant difference in our hearts. Our Good Friday service is like most…lights very dim…candles surrounding…tender music. One of our Pastors usually does the music alone on Good Friday but this time he asked me and another person to sing. At first I said yes and didn’t think much about it because I sing every Sunday…but then I realized this is an intense service and this is not to engage the congregation into worship…it’s a time of reflection. But something happens in me on Good Friday…I know it’s good because it’s God, but I still have not learned where to put it. It is odd for me not to be able to express what I am feeling…and its even odder (that’s a word right?) for a woman not to be able to put her finger on exactly what she is feeling (some relationship class input!) …but what is “it”…. sorrow…joy…devastation...praise…gratitude…anger…longing…peace…fear all at once.

We are in the sanctuary (we make it our sanctuary…but it’s really a college theatre) the lights are dim…candles are lit instead of lights because He is our light of the world… and I felt like there was an anticipation in the air.

To begin the service one of our teens sang “Via Dolorosa”….as she sang with her heart images of the way of the cross were on the screen. When she sang the words…And He bore with every step the scorn of those who cried out for His death…Like a lamb came the Messiah, Christ the King, But He chose to walk that road out of His love for you and me… more than tears and emotions roared from my heart. So the service continued…we sang more and all of the pastors took turns reading from Isaiah (which was so amazing it could be a whole other post...i mean i have read that so many times but the prophesies were more astounding at that moment then ever before) but I left there with something different….and I can’t quite understand it. I know that my heart was excited for Sunday and the wonderful service we would have…but something else…I don’t know. I always come back to our hunger for God….is this just how it feels to need Him and know and accept that you need Him. Is this just my Hunger for God??

I am all over the place with this post….and the weirdest thing is none of these feelings are negative or bad they are all good and under control…. Just a bit scattered. But I realize that sometimes our lives are a puzzle made by God… He knows what the picture will look like when it’s complete, but we have to pray for His will…so He can begin to place the pieces accurately and accordingly together to finish His picture…His perfect plan (perfect plan not perfect person...lol).

Praying for Jesus to put together my puzzle!
JD