Vacation!!

Well i am happy to say it is 10:30pm on Saturday night and i am excited! I guess it just took a little time to sink in and now that I'm done packing (or should i say over packing) i am looking forward to our trip! I still have the plane on my mind...but thanks to a lot of comfort from my caring friends...I'm less nervous!

Mexican sun here i come! With sunscreen of course!

JM

Vacation!?!?

I am going on a trip with my husband this Sunday. We are taking a vacation or as other countries call it a "holiday"...which on a random side note i think is much more fun than "vacation"! We decided for our one year anniversary to go back to the resort in Mexico where we had our honeymoon around this time last year. All in all i am looking forward to this trip...the warm sun..the food..quality time with Abe WITHOUT my arch enemy...my rival the XBOX!! I truly believe that the man who created video games did not intend for them to turn into what they have become; brain mushing machines that not only have the ability of eating your brain cells...their other super power is blocking out the voice of the wives talking to the man holding the controller. When i try talking to Abe as he is playing xbox..i get more of a response from our dogs! But that's a whole other blog!

So anyway...i am looking forward to going on Sunday..BUT I'm not really excited like i thought i would be. Maybe because i know we really cant afford it right now...but we are going anyway. Maybe because I'm terrified of flying and when we land i will be excited. Maybe because i am not ready to put on a bathing suit. Whatever the case may be...i was hoping to feel that "child-like" excitement like i remember getting as a child before a family vacation. Or the feeling that i am happy to admit i still get on Christmas eve! But so far for this trip I am lacking that feeling. I was trying to remember last year before our wedding day if I was excited for our honeymoon...and all i can remember are silly fears i had and worrying the whole week before. Has all my worry caused my brain to disconnect the "excitement nerve"?

As "adults" (whatever that means)...i think we loose so much of what we had as a child...excitment..imagination...dreams...faith. I still have faith for sure...but its always followed by a "what if". And i remember worrying as a child, but there certainly where not this many what ifs. I am SICK of "WHAT IF".

I have learned a lot about myself "growing up" and i realize that i am quite sensitive when it comes to the troubles of this world. I am not able to watch the news or read a newspaper like most can...because i do not have the ability to leave those stories on the paper or to forget about them when i shut off the television. They stay with me...everyone of them. I'm not sure if its ignorant for me to not know what's going on in the world. I don't know if its safe to shelter myself from the truth. But i do know that reading my bible instead of watching the news is my first choice. Reading a positive book instead of the newspaper is my second choice. And not watching R rated movies like I'm 10 yrs old is my third choice.

It seems that i rambled off the "vacation" topic...but i wonder if it is all the same issue. All i am sure of is God's love..and i know and believe with all my heart that "high above the sky or in the deepest ocean- nothing will ever be able to separate us from the love of God" Romans 8:39. And that is the Rock i stand on. My Rock Jesus..He is my excitement...He is my imagination...He is my dream...He is my Faith. And like a child i will look to God....my Father who will not leave me or forsake me..who is Perfect. And i know He will help me reconnect my "excitement nerve" and disconnect the "what ifs".

Mexican sun here i come...

JM

God's Full-Time Job

I was reading one of my devotionals today and this was the scripture...

"The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want." Psalm 23:1

The bible tells us we are like sheep. When i think of sheep..i think of fearful, defenseless creatures. Which would also describe me at times..always searching for security and requiring a lot of care. I think its amazing that God choose such a perfect analogy to describe His "role". As our Shepherd He leads us...tends to us...and protects us. On our own we are helpless against the power of sin and death..but with our Great God we can overcome sin and He saved us from death by sending His only son to die for us! O what a Shepherd He is! Without His guidance we cling to any form of information and entertainment that we believe will provide us with comfort and offer us love. But only He is our true comfort and only He can truly Love us.

This also brings to mind the challenge it is for our Pastor's. They too are our Shepherd's...called by God to lead us and guide us here on earth. What a challenge that could be...but I thank God for them...and i know that they are truly seeking God first. But we also must keep in mind that just as much as our Pastor shepherds pray for us...his flock should be praying for him. He himself is human and we need to remember that. He has trials...he has struggles..he has fears. It is not fair to rely on him for spiritual guidance and not pray for him in return.

I am so grateful to God for His full-time job...where He never takes a sick day nor a lunch break..there are no vacations or voicemails. And i am grateful for our Pastors...who also have very important full-time jobs!

Thanking God for our Good Shepherd...Jesus!

JM

Worry...

I am a worrier. I know where i learned it..and i have tried to unlearn it..but at times it wins. My father and his family are BIG worriers. What didn't help was my dad becoming a paramedic...its a great job, but increased his worrying capacity! When i was 7 he taught me how to give myself an injection..and showed me where the gas mask was..just in case we were ever under attack. So it's safe to say i learned of "worry" at a young age. This past week it seems to have taken over my mind...and at times it becomes stronger that the scriptures i have hidden in my heart. God's Word tells me not to worry...more than once..and in many ways. And i know that i shouldn't...but it finds an opening in my mind..and slowly creeps back in.

So why has it consumed me this week..my dad has Lyme disease and he happen to have a HORRIBLE case of it. For the first year they didn't even know what it was. Finally he found a great doctor in the city...who gave him the correct diagnosis. After watching my father..who in my eyes has always been the strong, smart, and caring paramedic..become weak, vulnerable, and very sick.. I became quite fearful of this disease. Thank God (our Great Physician)..my father has been on the road to recovery for the past 2 years and is almost back to normal.

So...getting to the point. On Tuesday i was getting changed for the gym..I glanced on my bed and saw something strange...as i got closer i realized what it was...a tick. Now being that my husband and i have 2 100lb golden retrievers...a dog tick would be my first guess. But this sucker looked like a deer tick (these carry Lyme)..which should not even be around here in our area. I know.. I know how silly this sounds..but since this event on Tuesday...we have found 2 more of these little crawling fears of mine around the house and on one of the dogs.

So i have been filled with fear and worry...that myself or my husband will find one of the ticks on us and somehow end up sick. It is possible.. not likely...but try telling my brain that.

I have been working on my terrible habit of worry since i became a follower of Christ...and He has helped me through so very much and continues to do so. I take His word very serious and i try to apply it everyday of my life. "Do not be afraid" enters my mind..and i know its important to God to tell us that..cause He says it many times. But it worries me that i continue to worry...and although i latch myself on to God's Word and His wonderful promises...i continue to loose my grip at least once a day..and I surrender to the thoughts of my fears. Then I feel a gentle touch on my shoulder and a soft sweet whisper of His voice...I hear the screaming of my heart "be anxious for NOTHING"...and for the moment the fears fade.

I am able to be the positive support that others needs..and I'm good at reminding others about the powerful use of the scriptures..its seems that i lack at reminding myself.

I always think of a saying I heard "Worry is like a rocking chair..it keeps you busy, but gets you no where"...well its been keeping me me busy and getting me no where all week.

Praying to be a warrior and not a worrier...

JM

Finally...

I finally found my blog! I have not blogged in over a year...because i could not remember my password and then i just let the time pass...and pass. But I have been filled with thoughts and i decided to try every password i could think of and i FINALLY found it! I am way over due for my blogs and i cant wait to get back into the routine of a daily blogger..

So.. i am excited to have found my long lost blog and i am looking forward to many posts to come!

Reunited,

JM